Barney Stinson Quotes #1

There's a series of steps...from her bed to the front door..bAM out of there , Next!

I love Bimbos. Bimbos make me happy. Bimbos make me feel alive. Bimbos make me want to pretend to be a better man.

1. Its not cheating if you're the one who not married 2. Its not cheating if her name got two adjacent vowels 3. Its not cheating if she's from different area code

Daddy's Hooomee !!

Sometimes we search for one thing but discover another. Even though I didn't find the mistery girl...I did find out something very important about myself... I'm awesome

God Bless u Ted! ur reading my blog

And who knew being in a committed heterosexual relationship could make a guy so gay

I love commitment ..i wish I could marry commitment

I wanna be with her all the time. Talk to her. Listen to her day, tell her about mine, smell her hair but i dont wanna be her stupid boyfriend

Ahh there is so much to teach you all, you have just become victims of the "Cheerleader-Effect". Glad you asked, the "Cheerleader-Effect" is when a group of women seems hot but only as a group. Just like with cheerleaders, the seeeeeeem hot but take each one of the individually... Sled-Dogs!

No, I'm not Barney....But I heard this guy is awesoome

whenever drunk chicks at a bachellorette party scream from the roof of a limo,"whats up,new york!" We will be "what is up New York"

discouraging premarital sex is against my religion

Ted, we’ll get you a twelve. Or, you know, two sixes. Failing that, four threes. And, break glass in case of emergency, we’ll go to Staten Island and get you twelve ones

I love this burger so much, I want to sew my ass shut

Do you remember why we suit up, James? To show people that we are different from the millions of t-shirt and jeans lemmings out there!

I gaze upon the glory of The Price Is Right, and I see the face of America. And it is divine. Plus, you know, hot chicks on sports cars!

Don't hate the player, Hate the game!

moist moist moist moist moist moist moist moist.

Hypothetical high five! Yes!

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