step brothers quotes #2

Dale Doback: Hey man. Did you touch my drumset? Brennan Huff: [Brennan nods his head] Brennan Huff: Nope. Dale Doback: It's just weird, 'cause, it seems like someone definitely touched my drumset. Brennan Huff: Yeah, that is weird, 'cause I didn't touch 'em. Dale Doback: [Dale throws Brennan's feet off the couch] Brennan Huff: Hey! Dale Doback: [angrily] Did you touch my drumset? Brennan Huff: Hey, knock it off! Dale Doback: I know you touched my drumstick, 'cause the left one has a chip in it. Brennan Huff: Are you fucking crazy, man? You sound insane. Do you realize that? You should be medicated. Dale Doback: Fuck you Brennan! I know you touched my drumset, and I wanna hear that dirty little mouth admit it. Brennan Huff: Get out of my face, or I'm gonna roundhouse your ass! Dale Doback: You swear on your mom's life that you didn't touch it then! Brennan Huff: I don't have to swear to shit! Dale Doback: That's 'cause you fucking touched my drumset! 'Cause I know COPS doesn't start 'till 4:00! Brennan Huff: [Brennan begins to leave the room] Dale Doback: Where you going? Brennan Huff: I'm going upstairs... 'cause I'm gonna put my nutsack, on your drumset! Okay? [Brennan continues to walk upstairs towards his drumset] Dale Doback: If you do that - I'm warning you, right now! If you touch my drums, I will stab you, in the neck, with a knife!

Nancy Huff: You yelled "rape" at the top of your lungs. Brennan Huff: Mom, I honestly thought I was gonna be raped for a second. He had the craziest look in his eyes. And at one point he said, "Lets get it on." Dale Doback: That was about the fighting. I am so not a raper! Brennan Huff: Look, I didn't touch your drum set, okay? Dale Doback: I witnessed with my eyes your testicles touching my drum set.

[Dale and Brennan are in beds next to each other] Dale Doback: [whispering] Hey, you awake? Brennan Huff: [also whispering] Yeah. Dale Doback: I just want you to know I hate you. And so does my dad. Brennan Huff: Well that's fine. Cause guess what? I hate you too. And this house sucks ass. Dale Doback: Well the only reason you're living here, is because me and my dad decided that your mom was really hot, and maybe we should just both bang her, and we'll put up with the retard in the meantime. Brennan Huff: Who's the retard? Dale Doback: You. Brennan Huff: [raising his voice] Hey ya'll don't say that! Dale Doback: Shut up! You'll wake up my dad and get me grounded. Brennan Huff: Just shut up! Dale Doback: You and your mom are hilbillies. This is a house of learned doctors. Brennan Huff: You're not a doctor... you're a big, fat, curly-headed fuck! Dale Doback: [Dale turns his face to Brennan] Oh yeah? Brennan Huff: [Brennan turns his face to Dale] Yeah. Dale Doback: I'm a curly-headed fuck? Brennan Huff: Yeah. You better not go to sleep, cause as soon as your eyes shut I'm gonna punch you square in the face. Dale Doback: I hope you stay still when you sleep, cause I'm gonna put a rat trap between your legs. Brennan Huff: I'm going to take a pillowcase, and fill it full of bars of soap, and beat the shit out of you. [Dale turns away from Brennan] Dale Doback: I want you out of my fucking house!

Brennan Huff: You know what? I still hate you, but you got a pretty awesome collection of nudie mags. Dale Doback: Yeah, I got 'em from the 70's, 80's and 90's. It's like masturbating in a time machine.

Dale Doback: On the count of three, name your favorite dinosaur. Don't even think about it. Just name it. Ready? One, two, three. Dale Doback, Brennan Huff: Velociraptor. Brennan Huff: Favorite non-pornographic magazine to masturbate to. Dale Doback, Brennan Huff: Good Housekeeping. Brennan Huff: If you were a chick, who's the one guy you'd sleep with? Dale Doback, Brennan Huff: John Stamos. Dale Doback: [stomps foot] What? Brennan Huff: Did we just become best friends? Dale Doback: Yep! [they high five each other] Brennan Huff: Do you wanna do karate in the garage? Dale Doback: Yep!

Dr. Robert Doback: You know what I got for Christmas? A crushed soul!

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