Barney Stinson Quotes #3

You dumped a porn star? Friendship over. Friendship over!

One of the 24 similarities between women and fish are they're both attracted to shiny objects.

Every Halloween, I bring a spare costume, in case I strike out with the hottest girl at the party. That way, I have a second chance to make a first impression

Come on Ted, this is an incredible opportunity, we'll meet our soulmates, nail'em and never call 'em again.

Ted, these chicks are desperate and hot, that's a perfect c**ktail. Shake well, then sleep with

Good night, thanks for playing, see you never!

You need to mark your territory, and I don't mean missing the toilet.

Helping people less fortunate than me is the greatest pleasure in the world.

Oh sure laugh. Laugh for Barney Stinson. Laugh for the sad clown trapped on his whirling carousel of suits and cigars and bimbos and booze round and round it goes, and where's it all heading... nowhere

Don't beat yourself up. He'll be fine. I mean, the guy's like a billionaire. He can put his platinum card in a fishing line and win ten chicks hotter than you

The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she's 17 years, 11 months old.

My life rocks! Money, suits and sex? These are tears of joy!

The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she's 17 years, 11 months old.

My life rocks! Money, suits and sex? These are tears of joy!

Plus, here's the mini-cherry on top of the regular cherry on top of the sundae of awesomeness that is my life. After Shannon and I talked, I nailed her.

Dude! We haven’t hit legendary yet, we’re only at the Le, we still got the Gen, the Da, the Ry.

That wasn't me, that was the universe.

Dude! We haven’t hit legendary yet, we’re only at the Le, we still got the Gen, the Da, the Ry.

That wasn't me, that was the universe.

You are forcing me to be the voice of reason. And that’s not a good look for me!

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