Queer Quotes

"People think gays are evil, and people think the devil’s evil, but no one seems to think the devil’s gay. Why not? I mean, he’s horny and flaming; he’s halfway home." - Last Comic Standing

"You know the weirdest thing for me about growing up in the 80’s is that everything that I grew up with that I thought was cool is now a gay icon. All of the good stuff, ABBA? Gay! Wonder Woman? Gay! The Village- WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THE VILLAGE PEOPLE WERE GAY?! It’s almost as if the Gay Community got divorced from the Straight Community 15 years ago and went: “Right, we’re leaving and we’re taking the good CDs with us. We’ve got Frankie goes to Hollywood, Kylie Minogue, Duran Duran. You can keep Europe.”." Adam Hills

"Although it is already banned in Texas, Republicans want to make gay marriage a felony, and they want to criminalize sodomy. Folks, this is a foolproof way to end homosexuality in Texas. Gay people are good, law-abiding citizens. So if we make sodomy illegal, I’m sure they’ll stop doing it. And if they don’t, we’ll send them to jail, where there IS no sodomy. Gotta use the noodle. Gotta use the noodle, folks." - Stephen Colbert

"Yes, lesbians raise well-adjusted teens who don’t misbehave — and that proves it’s unnatural! Teenagers are supposed to be cryptic, angsty, mumble-mouthed, narcissistic, alienated, mood-swinging, reclusive, cynical hormone junkies, who go through vampire phases and are mortified to be seen with their parents, even when you take them some place awesome like the Grammys!" - Stephen Colbert

"Remember, Jesus would rather constantly shame gays than let orphans have a family." - Stephen Colbert

"God created gay people for a reason, that being he knew that we’d sometimes need help getting the party started." - Frankie Boyle

"I wanted to make a friend outside of my usual social circle. So I met a guy who had no common friends with me and who shared completely different interests than mine, and we became friendly, and went to movies and dinner and stuff. And after a few weeks, I realized - we were dating. So I fucked him, just so neither of us felt the other was leading him on." - Wil Anderson

"Gay men have got all the experience they need raising kids. If you’re in a gay relationship, you already know how to deal with tantrums. You already know how to put talcum powder on a sore bottom." - Frankie Boyle

"God has created things just for the gays. Sarah Jessica Parker - she’s not for us. Sarah Jessica Parker was created for gay men. She’s either a really ugly woman, or a really beautiful sea horse." - Frankie Boyle

[Sitting in a lesbian bar, apparently oblivious] "Wait… there’s something not quite right here… this lesbian bar doesn’t have a fire exit! Enjoy your death trap, ladies!" - Homer Simpson

"We're sick of hearing people say, “That band is so gay,” or “Those guys are fags.” Gay is not a synonym for shitty. If you wanna say something’s shitty, say it’s shitty. Stop being such homophobic assholes." - Pete Wentz

"Once you go fag, your shoes match your bag."

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