quarta-feira, 1 de maio de 2013

Bender's shiny metal bites of wisdom! #1


Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer "extortion." The "X" makes it sound cool.

they know how to make ice cream soup?

Ah, lets face it: Comedy's a dead art form. Now, tragedy... That's funny!

I'm gonna build my own amusement park. But with gambling and hookers! Ah, forget the amusement park.

But those girls don't wear cases! You can see their bare circuits!

Friends! Friends! Surely you're not going to eat before we say robot grace. In the name of all that is good and logical, we give thanks for the chemical energy we are about to absorb. To quote the prophet Jer-a-matic, one zero zero zero one zero one zero one zero one zero one..." *time passes* "...zero zero one zero one one zero zero one...two. Amen.

Friends! Friends! Surely you're not going to eat before we say robot grace. In the name of all that is good and logical, we give thanks for the chemical energy we are about to absorb. To quote the prophet Jer-a-matic, one zero zero zero one zero one zero one zero one zero one..." *time passes* "...zero zero one zero one one zero zero one...two. Amen.

Wonderful! Then you'll all come to my exceedingly long, unair-conditioned baptism ceremony!

None of your business, get off my back!

Well, if jacking on will make strangers think I'm cool...I'll do it!

Uh, hey, I'm no square, but isn't that counterindicated by my operations manual?

I believe that qualifies as ill...at least from a technical standpoint.

Bender: What's that black cracker? Fry: a tomato

Where are we, the ass?

If it's any consolation, my life is great, babes, bucks, I've got it all!

No. I sold my body!

Game's over, losers. I have all the money. Compare your lives to mine and then kill yourselves.

What do you mean 'we,' flesh-tube?

Ahhh, what an awful dream. Ones and zeroes everywhere... and I thought I saw a two.

I was thinking Benderbrau if it's an ale, Botweiser if it's a lager.

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